Helping Kids Declutter Without Tears (Theirs or Yours)

As a professional organizer, parent, and former teacher, I’ve helped a lot of kids (and their grownups) navigate the process of letting go of stuff. If your child struggles to part with their toys, books, or trinkets, you are so not alone.

The good news? Decluttering is a skill—and like any skill, kids can learn it. The key is involving them in the process in a way that feels empowering, not overwhelming.

Here are a few of my favorite ways to help kids build their “letting go” muscles:

1. Model the Process

Let them see you decluttering. Narrate your decisions: “I’m letting go of this because it’s broken,” or “This doesn’t fit me anymore, so I’m donating it.” This normalizes the idea that letting go is part of life—not something scary or sad.

2. Practice With Easy Stuff

Start with low-stakes categories like expired food or old art supplies. Once they get used to the idea of letting go, you can move on to things that feel more personal.

3. Use Space Limits: “Shop” for Favorites

Instead of asking what they want to get rid of, give them a set amount of space and let them choose what stays. Example: “You can have these two shelves for your books. Let's pick your very favorite books to put on them.” Whatever doesn’t fit can be donated (or packed away temporarily to revisit later).

4. Change the Scenery

Put a few items in a laundry basket and have them sort through them in a different room or even outside. Sometimes just getting things out of their usual context makes it easier to let go.

5. Keep It Short

Decluttering doesn’t have to be a marathon! Try 5–10 minute sessions with a timer. The goal is small wins and zero meltdowns.

6. Make It a Game

Kids love a little competition or silliness. Sort like a race, play “keep or release,” or let them narrate their decisions like a game show host. Want more ideas? Email me - I’ve got a whole stash of them!

7. Don’t Hand It to Them

Instead of having them dig through their things, try holding each item up for them while they decide. Research shows we’re more likely to keep something if we’re physically touching it. Holding it up for them removes that automatic attachment.

8. Use a Neutral Helper

If possible, let a trusted adult or older sibling (or professional organizer!) work with them. Kids are often more open to suggestions when they’re not coming from Mom or Dad.

Decluttering with kids takes patience—but it’s so worth it. You’re not just creating a calmer space; you’re teaching your child how to make decisions, set boundaries, and take ownership of their things. And that’s a skill they’ll use forever.